Where do I go from here?

Hello folks!

I've got no where to hide. I said I was going to publish new blog posts every day and that is not happening! Life gets in the way. Now that I have a stable cancer recovery, and now that I am learning to thrive and to cherish each new day when I awake, my days get really, really full. So - I will just do my best.

It's time to get back writing more every day. I need an acronym for my writing. If you google OAC you will find the Ontario Academic Credit and the Ontario Arts Council, etc. The acronym I hereby choose to support my writing efforts is similar - AOC, which means Ass On Chair. If I sit down, put my laptop on my lap, and open Word - low and behold I see the list of recently saved files. Some of them (hopefully) will be titles of something I am writing - poem, novel draft, whatever. So I can simply choose a file and start writing. 

So here we are folks, its AOC time and as my title implies I don't have a clue what to write about in this blog. Note my location noted in Post Settings column. I am actually sitting in my favorite chair across the road from the Happy Valley Park in our house at 34 Franklin Road! They close the Park every winter, which makes no sense at all. We have all kinds of tourists at all times of the year. Of course the Park wouldn't be full of motorcycles and pup tents in December, but there are still a lot of motor homes and classy SUVs that have traveling occupants that want to drive to the shores of the Arctic Ocean at Tuk, about 120 km away. It is amazing how our tourism travel volume has escalated now that the all-weather road from Inuvik to Tuk is available. That short leg extends the Dempster Highway all the way to the coast of the Beaufort Sea.

So, Our town of Inuvik is a stopover on the only road in North America where you can drive to the coast of the Arctic Ocean. You can now drive from coast to coast to coast to coast. We have done that in our own vehicle. We have driven to Galveston, Texas (south coast), Vancouver Island (west coast), New Brunswick (east coast), and Tuktoyaktuk, NWT (north coast).

Well, I have gone off track here folks. Or maybe I never have been on track. My on track trajectory is now stable cancer recovery - I will have intravenous Nivolumab immunotherapy every four weeks for the rest of my life which will keep the cancer in remission (hopefully). There are no guarantees of course. The insidious cancer can start growing again at any time. But my oncologist at Cross Cancer Institute says that I will die with cancer but I will not die because of cancer!

So that is a pretty good situation to be in and I can get on with my life. But where to? Well I have two books to write, my book on cancer recovery and my Young Adult novel based in the Arctic. I have the opportunity to put my book proposal on cancer recovery together for Hay House. So, now AOC time is coming up, and I am going to tackle that YA novel.

Choose - hope - survive then thrive

The following is an edited version of what was to be my oral "Pitch Slam" at the Writers Digest August 2019 National Conference in New York. I was to present it in about 1 1/2 minutes before a few potential agents. I didn't go to New York because one of my cancer tumors had flaired up causing incredible pain. I was able to make it back as far as Edmonton to go to a cancer specialist at the Cross Cancer Institute and that was when a special Pain Management Team was put in place for my particular case. So here is my proposed pitch:

My tag line: Cancer Survivor, Author, Speaker: Choose – Hope – Survive.

I am glad to be alive today. Twice in the past 4 years I was told I would die within 8 months from Stage 4 kidney cancer. The purpose of my book is to inspire cancer sufferers and their caregivers to seek longer life and find joy in recovery – to Choose – Hope – Survive. I use story-telling and poems to add to my writing style. I emphasize that you can combine cancer treatment with practical natural healing to survive terminal cancer and still reach your dreams. I know that’s true because I am here! I used the methods of this book in the face of aggressive Stage 4 Renal Cell Carcinoma and my two near-death experiences. Now for a short summary of the book.

Anyone who suffers from cancer can prolong life. If the prognosis is weeks or months to live, accept your feelings, challenge them and choose life – longer life. Don’t accept the mortality statistics for your cancer. You are an individual, not a statistic. Take charge of your own health. Choose Life. That very personal choice turns fear into excitement, enhances healing, and brings Hope. You will hear the birds and smell the buds of spring again! Then take the steps necessary to Survive. First, accept whatever the doctor prescribes – radiation, chemotherapy, immunotherapy. Then, find complementary alternative healing methods for your cancer – take ownership of your own health. There’s more. The power of belief is a clinical fact. If you believe you will recover, you probably will. If you accept the doctor’s prognosis of weeks to live – guess what – you will die within that time! So, remember: Choose – Hope – Survive!

I still want to write this book, and I have written the introductory chapters. Going from wanting to write it to actually getting it done is another matter. Maybe I will blog those initial chapters just to get the book moving along. Oh yes, the title of this post says Choose - hope - survive then thrive. That idea comes from the fact that survival isn't enough, because often survival is still filled with unresolved trauma and fear. We want to learn to thrive in recovery.

Part of my experience in going from survive to thrive is to consciously be thankful every morning I wake up to a new day.That thankfulness, and thinking about all the different individual blessings that enter that thankfulness, brings me onward toward joy.

Now for those of you who are interested in following other cancer recovery journeys I strongly recommend that you take a look at my buddy Rob Truscott's website and blog at
https://cancersuckschronicles.ca/blog/. As you can tell Rob is pretty good at web design.

Beliefs become destiny

Hello again,

I hope you don't dismiss me as a failure because I haven't been writing in this blog every day. I am working in that direction but I guess I am not there yet. Other things get in the way, so it is a matter of priority. I'll get there.

As you know, I am convinced that "belief" is one of the strongest healing agents. The power of the mind is wonderful when it comes to healing. I have really loved reading The Power of Belief by Bruce Lipton, PhD. I have mentioned this before but Bruce Lipton states that Henry Ford "was right about the power of the mind: if you believe you can, or if you believe you can't...your're right." Lipton goes on to say "Positive thoughts are a biological mandate for a happy, healthy life. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi:

Your beliefs become your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words
Your words become your actions 
Your actions become your habits
Your habits become your values
Your values become your destiny"

That is a lot of food for thought. So if I ask: "What is my destiny?" -- I have to trace the line of reasoning back to my beliefs! So that is food for thought in a big way.

So I believe that my cancer journey is of profound significance. And not only because I believe that I can beat this thing it God wills. It is because of cancer that I treasure each day more than ever before. It is because of cancer that I am drawn to believe in the primary importance of spiritual growth - with the reminder that we are all spiritual beings in a natural experience.

Right now life's a bummer because I have a full body cold. I haven't had a cold for about four years. It is not the flu because I have no fever. However this cold is a reminder that yes cancer and chemo and many pain management drugs weaken the immune system. The doctors have warned me that I can expect more infectious diseases to come my way. I guess the best attitude is to know that my immune system will be boosted as I recover from the cold.

Tomorrow I am going to post on my mantra: Choose - hope - survive and thrive. I had hoped to get to the Writers' Digest Annual Conference in New York at the end of August this year to talk to agents about a book I want to write that promotes my cancer recovery strategy which follows this mantra.

Hope you are all having a good weekend. Oh - before I sign off another angel of cancer recovery is Kris Carr. She primarily writes for women, but these books are great: Crazy sexy cancer tips and Crazy sexy cancer survivor. That was a smart move. By putting the s-word into the titles it showed a light-hearted move to take the fear out of cancer healing and recovery and her books became instant best sellers.

Cancer is as Cancer Does

Good morning world,

Well my intentions took a hit since I did now follow through with my resolution two days ago to write every day. I missed yesterday, but I do have a reasonable excuse! Up at 05:30 yesterday so that Sandra and I could join others to sing Christmas carols for 1 1/2 hours in the entrance foyer of the hospital here in Inuvik. Then the day evaporated with doctor's appointment, blood tests, putting stamps on about 60 Christmas cards (with Christmas letter therein) and mailing them, 2 1/2 hour telephone call with dear friends in Illinois etc etc!

All right here we go for today. I had a great conversation with Crystal N here in Inuvik about an hour ago. She is a 25-year cancer survivor and we shared our stories. We will keep in touch.

Right now my Stage 4 Renal Clear Cell Carcinoma is holding steady, and will (maybe) stay in remission for the rest of my life providing that I take Nivolumab intravenous immunotherapy every four weeks for the rest of my life. Goodness sakes!! The health system here in the GNWT is certainly investing a lot of money in my living existence. I believe each intravenous treatment of nivo costs about $15,000 (plus about $5000 for transportation and accommodation). It makes me wish I could do something useful in return.

Well, here is something useful I can do. I can summarize how I have become "Inuvik's miracle" as my family doctor attests. Maybe that will help someone else. I have combined conventional radiation and immunotherapy with some natural healing). So here we go:

(1)  I eat a healthy diet, based on plant protein and fresh fruit but some meat and fish too, but very low on sugar (sugar feeds cancer, providing energy to cancer cells so they can grow faster and better) and simple carbohydrates (cutting down on potatoes and bread).

(2)  Injection three times a week - Monday/Wednesday/Friday for example - of Viscosan, an extract of mistletoe (cost - about $600/mo). This is my cost - it is not covered by our medical assistance.

(3) Taking two 133 mg tablets per day of high quality curcumin (from turmeric) to boost my immune system.

(4) Taking two to four antler velvet capsules per day to boost my immune system (no colds or flu for the past 4 to 5 years). 

(5) I take Nivolumab immunotherapy by IV every month to control, and hopefully stop, tumor growth, following radiation to my skull and sacrum areas. Taking "nivo" was preceded by some chemo treatments (described in this blog a couple of years ago) that nearly killed me, and with the lasting effect of destroying my short term memory, and giving me shingles (the shingles came because my immune system was compromised by radiation and the chemo treatments).

Then, to control the pain of the tumors at the left base of my skull, and at the bottom of my spine in the sacrum, I am taking Butrans 10 - transdermal buprenorphine - two patches at convenient places on my skin, each delivering 10 micrograms/hour of the drug.

I also take extra strength tylenol as needed to supplement the Butrans 10.

To control the shingles neurological pain I take one 50 mg pregabalin tablet twice a day.

So if I keep doing all this every day, my oncologist tells me I will always have the cancer, but I won't die of cancer. I could live one or two decades yet. After all, my dear Aunt Violet lived to 103 years of age.

Well folks, I hope that I haven't bored you to death with this blog entry.

Back in the trenches - the war against cancer

Sorry to be so long providing any updates. I have made an "old year's resolution", my last one for 2019, to use this davidisstillalive blog as my writing platform. So I intend to write in it every day.

Once of my cancer heroes is Jessica Ainscough who died in February of 2915 at the age of 30, having spent 8 years battling and thriving her way through incurable cancer. I became acquainted with her through  the Hay House Writers Workshop. You might like to take a look at the following:

1.   Jessica Ainscough - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessica_Ainscough

Jessica Ainscough (July 1985 – 26 February 2015) was an Australian teen magazine editor who became a writer and wellness entrepreneur following a rare cancer diagnosis at the age of 22 years. Ainscough went by the self-coined nickname "The Wellness Warrior" and used her popular blog by the same name to share her personal story of using alternative cancer treatments .

2.   Jess Ainscough - The Wellness Warrior

www.jessainscough.com

The Wellness Warrior | Be kind. Be brave. Be well. On February 26th 2015, the world lost one of its brightest sparks. After 30 years, 7 of which were spent thriving with cancer, Jess Ainscough peacefully passed away. Edgar’s Mission has always had a spe ...

Whereas Jessica spent some time believing only in natural healing, she changed her mind about a year before she died, cooming to the belief that it was necessary to integrate conventional oncology with natural healing. As you know that is entirely my view too.

Oh yes, I have another short war poem as a late "remembrance day" offering:

Futility of War

Fire and blood

Signature of war and pain

Blood in the trenches

Fire in the sky

As warriors plummet to earth

Wings broken, doomed

More tomorrow, as I follow along to write, write, write!

Veterans Remembrance Day

This is a bit late, but I wanted to share my war poetry in honour of the pilots and soldiers who have lost their lives in world wars that now keep us safe and secure. We remember them. The first poem - Fear is a Ghost in The Night Sky has been published on a war poetry site in the UK.

I was a young child during the latter years of WWII and have always been fascinated by the incredible bravery of the pilots of all countries that had a part in air war, particularly the Battle of Britain. I was born on Battle of Britain Day, September 17, 1940. That was the day that Hitler called off his invasion of Britain indefinitely, So the following poem is dedicated to those brave men and women. Although in the culture of the day women were not fighter or bomber pilots, except in Russia, they trained pilots and ferried planes from airfield to airfield and helped to keep the air war machine in full operation.

Fear is a Ghost in the Night Sky

Twin Bristol engines drumming

Thrumming just out of synch

Rumbling through the ink black sky

A wounded Beaufighter flying home

Cocoon of the returning crew

Pilot and gunner stare into the murk

Do they see Death staring back?

But the 109s won’t find them

Not here – stay in cloud – don’t panic

Borne home on angels’ wings tonight

The old plane vibrating, shaking

Descending to the coast – almost home

Families hover around the radio

Hoping for news of loved ones return

Fear is a ghost in the night sky

The following poem is in draft form - I'm still workin' on it! But I wanted to write something that would honour those who sacrificed their lives for our freedom today.

Eleventh hour – day – and month

The front is quiet as a tomb

A reconnaissance plane drones across the sky

The smell lingers from the big guns

Those guns are silent

And the fallen are silent too

They would cry out if they could –

No more mothers and babes dead from shrapnel

Let there be war no more

In our haste to kill, kill, kill

Shovels scrape on stone

As shallow graves are dug

Some were the last to fall --

One or two minutes to peace for George Price and Henry Gunther

Then eternity – they are the heroes

Who bravely answered that last call to arms

Let there be war no more

My cancer poems!

Right now I am taking radiation for a metastasized kidney cancer tumor at the base of my skull which could be potentially fatal. 10 radiation treatments in 10 days at Cross Cancer Institute in Edmonton, Canada. My dear daughter Anne is keeping me company with this treatment regimen, so that Sandra can get some work done at her senior management position back in Inuvik. Sandra has been accompanying me south from Inuvik for treatment as escort every 2 to 3 weeks for months now and it is wearing. The escort is necessary because of my severe hearing impairment, coupled with "chemo brain" by which I very quickly forget random parts of what the oncologists say that is not written down.

I have continued to write poetry over the years. Since my self-published book of poetry Pine Cones and Small Stones in 2014 I have written at least enough for a sequel, but I haven't decided what publishing route to take with that yet.

I have decided to write some poetry focused on cancer, and I intend to submit it to the League of Canadian Poets for publication soon. I have tried to give the both the fearsome nature of cancer and how each new day feels precious in Stage 4. Your comments would be welcome: this is what I have so far:

Death row

Waiting for the ax

To fall – cancer hides and slinks

Just behind the door

You have cancer

Cancer

Cold grey iron foe

Lurking – hiding

Hide-and-seek monster

Face of darkness and dismay

Pale bloodless skin of death

Hair the color of cremation’s fire

Wearing a long black cloak

To smother each victim

Sexless – neither male nor female

Outside time and space in this universe

Hide and seek

Cancer – sinister

Now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t

Evil incarnate

Heal then thrive

Wind and oak whisper

Cherishing the mistletoe

Mystery healer

Choosing life and hope – survive

Thrive – each new day a blessing 

Here is some black humor for you. With all this radiation I should really shine, just like ABBA in Super Trouper:

"shining like the sun
smiling having fun
feeling like a number one"

The last line is still true, because I refuse to give in to dark thoughts of fear or gloom. I love the fact that belief in healing is a mighty source of strength. Quite often belief is the most potent healer available. And belief now has scientific credence. For example, see if you can find this book in your local library: The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton, PhD, Hay House 2008.

Survival is now a full time job!

Since my last post, it is evident that another tumor, the one on my spine at the base of my skull, has decided to grow by leaps and bounds. That was almost missed with my last CT Scan on September 18. So during October the oncologists at Cross Cancer Institute (CCI) in Edmonton, Alberta have decided to hit that tumor a second time with radiation with 10 daily treatments beginning Monday, November 04 and continuing to November 18.

So on the coming Sunday I will be flying to Edmonton once again for a two-week stint. The tumor growth is evident because of new pains in my head on the left hand side, caused by the tumor disturbing nerves in my skull.

The Pain Management Team will be meeting with me too at CCI on November 05. They now have me on a few drugs that are controlling the pain quite well. The major side effect is being tired and drowsy. I will need an hour nap today, I am sure.

I am continuing my alternative healing, integrated with the CCI radiation and oncology treatments. The keys in this natural healing protocol are primarily:

• Strong belief in my continued recovery (Ref: The Biology of Belief - Bruce Lipton);
• Continuing to reduce sugar and simple carbs from my nutrition, and adding concentrated curcumin as a supplement;
• Taking two elk velvet capsules per day to boost my immune system (not one cold over the past 5 years!)
• Continuing to inject an extract of mistletoe three times a week (Iscador and now Helixor, prescribed treatment for cancer in Germany).

To be continued next week as radiation kicks in. I will have more information about two great cancer recovery sites, so stay tuned!

What is my cancer up to now?

October 10, 2019. What is my cancer up to now?

I like Bruce Lipton's great book: "The Biology of Belief". It reinforces my belief that I can coax my T-cells to change my DNA and attack the cancer cells, through my strong belief in healing and through my own mind.

The cancer is insidious. It grows whenever I turn my back on it. One tumor that has been dormant for months decides to grow. The tumor at the bottom of my spine, in the left sacrum area, has nearly doubled in size over the past months. But I believe the Nivolumab immunotherapy will put it in remission again.

Our dear family doctor in Inuvik, Dr Gail Robson, still believes me to be a miracle. She expected me to die months/years ago. On Tuesday morning, at my appointment with her, when I said I was confident that the Nivo would put me back in remission, she replied - "Yes of course, knowing you!"

So here is my spiritual belief. I believe that my healing has now reached a higher plane. My Creator, my God, and I must work together to heal (God healing through me). That does not mean that I will not die soon if God has some purpose within His will. In any case I know that God as a great shepherd holds us as lambs of His fold (Isaiah 40:11) and that He will lead us to His Son - "the Rock (Psalm 61:2) that is higher than I." My human body may crumble, as my spirit prospers and soars above any calamity in this life.

That is all for now. More very soon.

Two vivid dreams - living in a burning house AND coasting uphill through rocks!

The Pain Management Team at Cross Cancer continue to phone me once a week to see how things are going. On last Friday late afternoon October 4 I received my weekly update call. They asked about vivid dreams. Well ---let me tell you about two vivid dreams that occurred on the night of Wednesday October 2, which incidentally was my worst ever day of pain. Pain was everywhere - ribcage, hips, legs and thighs, severe headache like a migrain. Pain right now is almost gone, but then was 8-9 out of 10 in intensity. Ok here are the dreams.

Dream 1: In a burning house

I am sitting in the kitchen of the old house on the farm. Those of you who have my 2014 poetry book - Pine Cones and Small Stones - have seen that house in black and white. There is a forested area to the west.

There is a wildfire approaching from the west. It seems to stop just to the west of the house. There are two other people who don't look familiar in the room with me. All of a sudden someone outside the open back door, now closed only by the screendoor, cries out it's going to go!! Meaning that the house is burning, the roof is on fire.

The two others hurry out the door and watch the house burn. I continue to sit calmly in the kitchen. I can hear the roaring of the fire behind and above me in the attic. I can hear the crackling and smell the smoke. I know that the old house is insulated only with wood shavings in the walls, which means that the west side of the house is burning like a torch. But I still calmly sit there in the kitchen while everyone else has left. 

I see that the western side of the house must be disintegrating because the flames and ashes and smoke are starting to blow from the west past my only exit, the back door. Finally I finally admit my danger of being consumed by the fire and walk quickly out the kitchen door and down the steps with the smoke stinging my nose.

What a fun dream that was.


Vivid dream 2: biking accelerating uphill through rocks

I walk with others down some jagged brown sandstone rocks for about 20 steps or so and then we stop on a flat rock platform. I see a bicycle there so I hop on and think about trying to pedal through the football sized rocks. All of a sudden the bike begins to move, and to accelerate back uphill as if I had pointed it downhill! 

A very rough ride over the rocks until at the top I see that the final hurdle is a rock formation in the shape of a ramp. So, still just coasting, I accelerate up the ramp and into the air. I look down on the rocky landscape about 20 meters below and feel a thrill go through me. Then I fall gracefully until I am just standing there on the rocks, still as can be.

It would be nice in life to accelerate uphill through the laborious rocks that hold us back and be free. -- Free!!

There's a killer in the room!

I've simply got to make this blog more active. Yes I am still alive - sort of! I am in the clutches of medical systems that consider me to be a number on a card rather than a loving, warm-blooded human being with a lot to give to my many communities.

In my last post from Warren, Illinois I said I would be in Edmonton for radiation consult etc on August 27. Yes, that happened and as a result we stayed in Edmonton for another couple of weeks while various things happened. I had my first Pain Management Team (PMT) consult on Aug 29 which was four hours, very thorough, resulting in my present prescription of morphine pills now 2 x 5mg every 6 to 8 hours.  I had radiation on that sacrum tumour for four treatments Sep 2 - 6, another consult on the 6th and my first of the Nivolumab immunotherapy treatments on the 7th. A fair amount of anxiety pain in my chest as well which I control with extra strength Tylenol. I had a follow-up PMT consult on the 10th of September before we could finally return to Inuvik.

As a happy interlude to all this cancer stuff I was invited to read my Battle of Britain dream poem at a special Battle of Britain memorial at the Legion in Inuvik on September 15. I consider that an honour. I am to read it again on Remembrance Day November 11. You can read it where I published it on a war poetry site at http://www.poetsandwar.com/fear-is-a-ghost-in-the-night-sky/. You will have to copy and paste the link into your browser. The poem site also has a bit of background for the poem.

Then everything broke loose. Frantic calls on Tuesday morning the 17th (my 79 birthday by the way - my cousin Violet Farmer turned 80 on the very same day) I receive a call saying I am to have a CT Scan the very next day in Yellowknife, September 18 at 2 pm. So Sandra and I (after I found her at work) had to pack and leave that same day by air for Yellowknife. The problem that arose was there was only ONE room left in Yellowknife and that was in Anderson Thompson Towers and only for one night. This kinda posed a problem because when I arrived at Stanton Hospital at 2 pm on the 18th I was greeted with "You missed your appointment". It was to start at 12 noon with contrast given etc for the scan at 2 pm. So that threw everything into a whirl which I am still recovering from. Stanton Hospital managed to squeeze me in anyway BUT the actual scan didn't start until 4 pm and we had to be on a plane for Edmonton for my next immunotherapy treatment on the 20th leaving Yellowknife at 5:25 pm. Why? Because there was no room available to stay another night in Yellowknife. The plane had fully boarded and we had not yet gone through security. By the time we were on the plane we were both crying from the anxiety and stress. I had to leave my car at the airport for my friend Anson to deal with because of no time at all to return the car.

So on the 20th another Nivolumab (shortened to Nivo) consult and another PMT meeting. The PMT meeting was disconcerting, because the PMT doctor spent some time giving me end of life counselling. I was a bit angry about that. It was as though I was now waiting for Death in his long black hooded cloak to swing that sickle and cut off my head.

Well, now back in Inuvik trying to write and get back to normal. I ain't dead yet folks - not by a long shot. I am still going to use natural healing to live a while yet!! And, I am excited to report that I am taking an on-line writing course from Hay House Publishing, which will not only improve my writing skills but give me to put in a book proposal for my cancer recovery book Choose-Hope-Survive publication to Hay House without an agent. Wow, what an opportunity!

So I am busy taking the course for the next 6 weeks, and writing when I can, interspersed with calls to hospitals, clinics, cancer navigator, medical daycare staff, and Cross Cancer oncologists. 

Quite a ride! Talk to you next time

Update on Renal Cell Carcinoma from Warren Illinois

Well, it has been a while. I am at the community Library in Warren Illinois where we are visiting our dear friends Bob and Sharon Cook. They don't have internet so this is my chance to catch up on my communications.

As the previous post indicated cancer has raised its ugly head again. The lowest of the three tumours on my spine, in the sacrum area on the left side, is growing at an alarming rate. I will be in Edmonton at the Cross Cancer Institute Aug 27 for a radiation consult. And I have an immunotherapy session scheduled for Sept 6.

There has been a lot of pain this time around. Trying to control it with various pain meds. Apparently the radiation will release the pain.

Good news is that the tumour at the top of my spine at the base of my skull has shrunk.

I am still very hopeful that the radiation/immunotherapy combo will put me back into remission.

I will keep you updated. Here below is a little haiku poem I have written about this nasty turn of events. It sounds pretty dark because I am somewhat upset you might say at the turn of events, but of course never without hope:

Death Row

Waiting for the ax

To fall – Cancer hides and slinks

Just behind the door

Cancer raises its ugly head again!

Hello again.

The previous post told our pooch Hagar's story of maybe wanting to drink because we left him precipitously last Thursday about noon to fly to Yellowknife.

Here's how it all happened.

On Wednesday July the 10th I was awakened at 04:30 with a severe pain down at the bottom of my spinal cord on the left side (sacrum area). I knew that it was at or near one of the three tumours on my spinal cord that had gone into remission one year ago at the completion of six intravenous immunotherapy treatments of Nivolumab, July 19, 2018.

I immediately phoned Dr John Walker's office to find that he would not be in Yellowknife in July but Dr Zhu would be, this week in fact. Then Thursday morning at 09:20 I received a call from the Cancer Coordinator in Yellowknife telling me the next day at 09:45 I was to have a CT Scan at the Stanton Territorial Hospital in Yellowknife. That meant we had to leave that day, Thursday, by 737 to fly to Yellowknife. It took an hour or so to alert Sandra who immediately came home and we packed and took a cab to the airport, leaving poor little Hagar our pooch totally confused about how life was unfolding (so were we!).

The CT Scan was carried out uneventfully on Friday morning. Then we waited all weekend, waiting for our appointment with Dr Zhu on Monday the 15th at 10:30 to review the CT results (working very hard on Saturday emptying one of our two storage units by taking a load to the dump with friend Bill's help, taking some clothing and toys to a second-hand store, and packing another suitcase to bring back), AND doing meetings and a barbecue Sunday afternoon out at Reid Lake at the Pikes campground.

On Monday Dr Zhu gave us the news we did not want to hear. The tumour attached to my sacrum at the bottom of the spinal cord was indeed growing again, however slowly. We will be allowed to take our vacation in August, but I must begin immunotherapy injections asap.

I just found out this aft that I will be getting the Nivolumab injections in Yellowknife at Stanton Hospital, not in Edmonton at Cross Cancer as we wanted to. That means that Sandra has to take 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 days off work every treatment. She must come as my escort because of my deafness AND now because my memory is so spotty because of chemo-brain.

More later as the saga of davidisstillalive continues! Stay tuned.

Doggone insurance against the next drink!

Hello folks! I am so sorry that it has taken so long. I will have another health-related post shortly but can't resist to send this one.

Now, you may know about our little sort-of shihtzu named Hagar. He is a sober dog - he hasn't been drunk as long as we have known him ( 1 1/2 years now).

 
Whenever we have gone away before we have taken him to a willing dog-sitter before taking off on our travels. However, for reasons that will be outlined in my next post later today we had to leave for the airport abruptly last Thursday about noon - a frenzy of packing for both Sandra and I and no time to take Hagar to a sitter - just a phone call to our friend Barb next door who came over a few hours later to pick him up.
Hagar was very confused by the whole ordeal. He was very anxious as we both packed and then left him alone in the house as we headed by cab to the airport. He had his food and water but no understanding of where we had gone. I think this almost drove him to drink.

Hagar has never left our yard by a distance of greater than a yard-width before. He is a home body but he is used to being at Barb's place. However, not knowing where we had gone, one day (Monday the 16th, a day late for an AA meeting) he decided to take things into his own hands (-- i.e. paws). When he was let out to "do his business" on Monday by Barb's grandson, he decided to go find us. He started off going to the hardware store. Nope, we weren't there. Then he made his way across a big vacant lot, under a big utilidor and over to the sidewalk along Mackenzie Road. There he was spied and identified but refused to go to just any old stranger!

So Hagar headed for the Anglican Church, where we have often taken him with us to AA meetings Friday and Sunday evenings. He climbed the steps and sat there. Presumably he so wanted to drink by this time that he felt he needed a meeting. Or that we would miraculously appear so that we could all be a family again. He felt safe there, so when one of Barb's friends Arlene Hanson saw him there he allowed her to pick him up and take him back to Barbs here on Franklin Road.

Long story short Hagar is still sober.

A bit sad today

Spring is trying to spring. We have a slow melt this spring of 2019. But that is good, because with more snow than usual we won't have flooding. The snow can slowly melt and soak away in the soil rather than running off into the Mackenzie River.

I am a bit sad today because on the early morning of May 4 a loving 37 year-old mom, wife, and popular author died from a severe and progressive bacterial infection that ran out of control. Her name is Rachel Held Evans and you can see her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/rachelheldevans.page/. Rachel spoke out against judgemental and abusive evangelicalism. She knew her Bible well and had a fair understanding of truth. She was a firebrand out there in the world.

To honour her memory here in my blog I have written a 17 syllable haiku:

The Passing

Young, vibrant, taken
Snatched quickly from this earth
Loving voice silenced

This sobering event reminds me that: 

We are each one grain in the sands of time.

We each have only a few years, a small part of eternity, to prepare for a hoped-for everlasting life with our Father, our God, our Creator.

So I must hang on to joy. I never forget the prophet Joel, who talked about joy in the first chapter of his book: "All the trees of the field are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men." That means no joy, no fruit. Joy is very important in my life.

So I wish you all a joyful week this fine spring day.

Deauville Hotel near the Fort Lauderdale beach and a plane crash

Well, here we are in Fort Lauderdale on vacation. We arrived at our hotel Wednesday February 27 about 02:00. The plane arrived at midnight.  And today March 4, is Sandra's nth birthday (n=an even number that shall not be named). We are going out for a lobster supper at The Capital Grille on East Sunrise Blvd. Reservation at 18:00 to celebrate!

We have taken many long walks, 10km (6.2 mi) or so once or twice a day. Lots of sun. our Deauville Hotel has a pool and is very comfortable to sit and snooze or read.

On Friday March 1 we witnessed a plane crash. Only the pilot was killed which was a miracle. Shortly before 12 noon we were sitting reading by the pool. We heard a small plane approaching. It was a bright yellow Piper PA25, similar to the single-passenger crop dusters we see on the prairies. I saw it pass low and slow nearly overhead, wobbling as though it was near a drop-out-of-the-sky aerodynamic stall. It banked left into the wind, towing a banner, and cleared the power lines. I saw the pilot, with his cockpit windows pulled back, trying to control the aircraft. I don't know why he did not increase to full power. As a pilot I keep wondering what really happened. Anyway, about four seconds later there was a tremendous bang and then a deadly silence. The plane had stuck the concrete wall of a condo building around the 16th floor level and the wreckage then fell to the pool deck, which was under construction. It was an absolute miracle that no-one else was injured and there was no fire. The pilot was 28-years old, building hours to get his commercial license.

I keep wonder why!! I think he was having mechanical problems because the engine was not opened to full throttle to full power. To me it seemed he was only at about 25% power when he passed overhead. If he knew he was going down and was having engine trouble, then may be he was a hero because he did everything he could to clear the power lines. If he had turned the other direction, downwind, his airspeed was so low that he would have stalled and dropped out of the sky on top of beach sunbathers. 

On the other hand maybe it was suicide and he was purposely choosing his target so as to not kill anyone else. Otherwise why did he hit the concrete (not a window) in the middle of a 50-foot  (17-metre) wide building rather than flying around it. Now we will never know. Some say that his banner snagged on something and that caused the problem. No-one really knows.

We are here in Fort Lauderdale until this Friday March 8. Then we fly to Toronto, and on to Ottawa on Saturday. We will stay at our friend Victoria's condo, and visit Shauna and the three boys in Ottawa. On Wednesday the 13th we wend our way back west. Sandra arrives home to Inuvik on Friday the 15th. I make a detour to Regina to visit Anne who is home from Viet Nam, and to Saskatoon to visit Lynn and Derrick as well as Don Shenton, and maybe an old high school buddy, another Don S. I don't get back to Inuvik until March 21.

Well there you are. That will do for today. At 4:30 we will leave the hotel for our three mile walk to the restaurant.

The sun returns!

Sorry for the long silence. The sun touched the horizon again about January 6 and now the days are lengthening. The weather continues to do strange things though. Day before yesterday it got up to -2C, almost melting, and 30 hours later it was -32C! And snowstorms and blizzards every week. The weather used to be so calm in the winter here in Inuvik over 20 years ago when Sandra and I were here before.

I was worried in early December that my cancer was coming back. I had some prickly numbness in my left hip and thigh, which reminded me of the only symptoms I had when cancer was first discovered. That is the way cancer survival is - every little twinge or pain causes alarm! Anyway I was able to get CT scans of my neck and back in Yellowknife at Stanton Hospital on 19th December, 2018. Then no word whatsoever as to the results!! -- Until I was able to go back to Yellowknife for an appointment with Dr John Walker from the Cross Cancer Institute in Edmonton on January 4. At which time he informed me that my cancer was still in complete remission, that the three tumours on my spine (base of neck, lumbar, and sacrum) were all inactive and completely stable. He also pointed out that the immunotherapy treatments that ended on July 19, 2018 were still effective, because the lymphocytes are trained by the immunotherapy so that when new cells are produced even after therapy ceases they still attack cancer cells. The long and the short of it, my recovery is so stable that the doc doesn't want to see me for at least 6 months, maybe September or around there.

But what a weekend that was, leading up to Monday February 4. The temperature was in the minus thirties when we arrived Friday evening, an hour late (which come to think of it is right on time for Canadian North!). The  1986Toyota started without being plugged in, with a bit of coaxing though. Next hurdle - the Stanton Suites hotel had lost my reservation for Friday and Saturday which kinda bummed us out. They still had room fortunately. The next hurdle was that we met Annelies and Bill and Brad for supper at Coyotes and the restaurant promptly lost my food order - and no I'm sorry or reduction of the bill. Do you think we will ever go back there? I DON'T THINK SO!

Then the temperature plummeted to -41 that night and I neglected to plug the car in. It would not start the next morning. And the Alberta Motor Association never did show up to help us (we are cancelling our membership!). Our good friend Anson came and boosted us and the Toyota finally started. I did have to cancel my haircut with Aileen at Vixen Hair Den at 10:30 that morning because of the car starting problem.After a lunch with Anson we continued on our day's activities. And oh yes, the Monkey Tree bar lost our lunch order so lunch was a bit longer that usual! But guess what, they gave us a free lunch. We will go back there, but never again to Coyotes.

So silly me. I think I made a rash vow to finish a draft of my cancer recovery book by the end of December. Nope! Never happened. I am back writing now though - but I have decided to concentrate on my memoirs. Sounds boring doesn't it? But memoirs don't have to be boring I recently finished reading the memoir of Tara Westover entitled Educated, where Tara recounts her journey from an isolated childhood late in the 1990s filled with life-threatening family violence and no schooling to eventually getting a PhD at Cambridge in the UK in 2014. Now my life isn't that exciting, but I did go from an only child on a tiny farm in Saskatchewan, born on Battle of Britain Day in September 1940, struggling with deafness and other challenges, to get my PhD in Engineering Science at the University of Warwick in the late 1980s. I did spend some time at Cambridge during those years, at the same time as Stephen Hawking, although I never met him there.

A few years ago I began writing down anecdotes of things that happened in my life. So now I have plenty to work with to write about in a memoir, which will of course include my cancer recovery story. We are fortunate here in Inuvik to have a cancer recovery circle that tries to meet once a month so that we can share our stories of hope with others who are cancer patients or family of cancer survivors.

Well that is enough for now. It is 4:20 PM and in a few minutes I will head out to pick up a Valentine's Day card for Sandra. The temperature is down around -28C but the wind has finally died down. It was intensely cold last night with a howling wind and the temperature in the -20s. I have a sneaking suspicion that Chinese food is on the menu for super tonight. And then we are spending time with Bob and Sharon in Illinois by telephone at 6:30 PM. Talking weather and politics (Trumpism and Trudeauism) followed by a Bible study. We love our twice weekly talks with them.

AND, I must not forget our 24th wedding anniversary is coming up later this week on February 17.

Best wishes to all.

2018 in review

The past year has seemed the longest in my short history. The illness dragged on.

Illness has taken its toll. Thanks to chemo I still have shingles, my right eye is defective (often sore and blurry), and I feel fluish every second or third day. That is nearly 12 months after starting chemo and nine months after the end of chemo.

I have some lingering anger about the fact that I have now experienced how the pharmaceutical industry holds medical treatment for ransom. I know (because my oncologist has told me) that cancer treatment specialists are fully aware that chemotherapy will not bring any healing to kidney cancer. But the government-backed medical system (pushed by big pharma) insists that chemo be tried before something that will in fact work on kidney cancer, namely immunotherapy. This situation has killed a lot of people, my cousin Karen included. It was immunotherapy that was introduced soon enough to train my immune system to attack the cancer cells in the three new tumours that appeared on my spine at the end of 2017. By the way at the end of chemo in April 2018 it was revealed by CT scans that the tumours had actually grown larger during chemo!! So I might not be alive today if it had not been for the timely introduction of immunotherapy.  

Remission simply means that, although the three tumours on my spine are still there, they have stopped growing. I am waiting for the results of a CT scan taken in mid December in Yellowknife. I requested that scan because of some twinges and prickles in my left hip and thigh, similar to the precursor to the discovery of the tumour on my basal spine vertebrae near the end of 2017. It may just be an artifact of shingles. I should get a call from my oncologist at Cross Cancer Institute in Edmonton in the next day or two with details about the scan. Everything slowed to a halt for Christmas and New Years in the medical field.