I am writing a book on my recovery journey. The working title is now one word, a command: Survive. I hope to complete the first draft by the end of this month, December 2018.
I am using poetry to help keep my spirits up in the cancer recovery journey. The side effects of the original chemotherapy linger, bringing tiredness, depression, shingles neurological pain on one side, and sometimes just feeling as sick as if I had the flu. Here are three poems leading from despair to belief and hope (please excuse the wonky copy and paste formatting from Word). For me they bring much comfort and food for thought:
Cancer
Cancer
Sinister
Hide-and-seek now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t
Monster
Evil incarnate
Cold grey iron
Lurking – hiding
Your face is darkness and dismay
Cold grey eyes – pale bloodless skin of death
With hair the colour of cremation’s fire
Wearing a long black cloak
To smother each victim
Neither male nor female
Outside time and space in this universe
Cancer in Seventeen Syllables
Cancer - sinister
Now-you-see-it-now-you-don't
Evil incarnate
Balm of Poetry
Joy replaces fear
Debilitating cancer
But pen keeps writing
Balm of poetry
I need it now – darkness comes
Let joy win the day
I am still alive
Against all odds – keep writing
Poems bringing life
There you have it. I keep writing, because it keeps me working toward the goal of continued remission. Being in remission is not "home free". When a deadly cancer like Stage 4 Renal Cell Carcinoma is at stake, it can recur at any time so I must keep vigilant. Remission is simply some breathing space to prepare for a next onslaught.
