Saturday, 9 November 2019

My cancer poems!

Right now I am taking radiation for a metastasized kidney cancer tumor at the base of my skull which could be potentially fatal. 10 radiation treatments in 10 days at Cross Cancer Institute in Edmonton, Canada. My dear daughter Anne is keeping me company with this treatment regimen, so that Sandra can get some work done at her senior management position back in Inuvik. Sandra has been accompanying me south from Inuvik for treatment as escort every 2 to 3 weeks for months now and it is wearing. The escort is necessary because of my severe hearing impairment, coupled with "chemo brain" by which I very quickly forget random parts of what the oncologists say that is not written down.

I have continued to write poetry over the years. Since my self-published book of poetry Pine Cones and Small Stones in 2014 I have written at least enough for a sequel, but I haven't decided what publishing route to take with that yet.

I have decided to write some poetry focused on cancer, and I intend to submit it to the League of Canadian Poets for publication soon. I have tried to give the both the fearsome nature of cancer and how each new day feels precious in Stage 4. Your comments would be welcome: this is what I have so far:


Death row
Waiting for the ax
To fall – cancer hides and slinks
Just behind the door

You have cancer
Cancer
Cold grey iron foe
Lurking – hiding
Hide-and-seek monster
Face of darkness and dismay
Pale bloodless skin of death
Hair the color of cremation’s fire
Wearing a long black cloak
To smother each victim
Sexless – neither male nor female
Outside time and space in this universe

Hide and seek
Cancer – sinister
Now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t
Evil incarnate

Heal then thrive
Wind and oak whisper
Cherishing the mistletoe
Mystery healer
Choosing life and hope – survive
Thrive – each new day a blessing 

Here is some black humor for you. With all this radiation I should really shine, just like ABBA in Super Trouper:

"shining like the sun
smiling having fun
feeling like a number one"

The last line is still true, because I refuse to give in to dark thoughts of fear or gloom. I love the fact that belief in healing is a mighty source of strength. Quite often belief is the most potent healer available. And belief now has scientific credence. For example, see if you can find this book in your local library: The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton, PhD, Hay House 2008.

3 comments:

  1. Good Morning, David. Glad Anne is with you. I try to picture her, surely she is lovely as all your daughters are. Now, your email with the Poem, 'Fear Is a Ghost in the Night Sky' came safe. Thank you. We have fresh and not heavy, but so pretty snow. May the radiation kill the Cancer. May it relieve your pain and give you release of this monster. Love to you and a hug to your Anne. tell her thank you, please.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I read 'Fear is a Ghost in the Night Sky', but did not have it in a file. It's title reminds me of the wonderful Pizza we had after Seneca Convention. It is a catchy title. Stuck in my head. So, when it became available to read (I think on your blog??) it please me, so!!! I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks Larna. I will publish that poem in my next blog entry today. I am working on another war poem as well, that I may have done in time to include as well as Fear is a Ghost in the Night Sky.

    ReplyDelete