Sunday 14 February 2016

Looking Death in the eye! And a happy Valentine's Day

Before talking about the immune system and nutrition some more I need to express some personal thoughts.

Cancer is lethal  - almost always. And death usually comes prematurely as a result of cancer. Death was something I took seriously all my life in feeling empathy for families affected, but never took seriously really for myself personally - it always was something that happens to other people, not to me. I go to the funerals of other people, not my own!

In my case, cancer growth wasn't the only lethal threat. The piece of tumour that had migrated up near my heart influenced the specialist to tell me he was surprised I was still alive, and that I could be dead in the next 10 minutes. Apparently that hunk of tumour was adrift in my blood stream near the heart. If it reached my heart it would be lights out! 

So when the surgeon said an immediate operation was required and there was a 10% chance of death on the operating table the whole thing was really scary. When we had time alone before the operation we tearfully thanked each other for the near 30 years of companionship, love and support. Now, I can't help but quote Rick Yancey in the young adult novel "The 5th Wave" where Cassie says (in Chapter 13 (a scary number) by the way): "We'd stared into the face of Death, and Death blinked first." 

On a spiritual level, I am very thankful for the message that came to me during my prayer time the night of February 02, the day before the Cross Cancer consultation. At the time I was full of fear, afraid, so the message was a jolt. The words "everything will be ok" came with a profound feeling of pure joy and peace. That message and the feeling that came with it only lasted for a very short time. 

I have a very strong belief in God, in a pure personal spiritual sense, not in a religious sense. Religion today teaches us to believe according to a man-directed system of rules and/or traditions. True spirituality teaches me personal contact and communication with God as my creator, teaches me to follow the life of example and teachings of Jesus the Messiah, and that God is love, and the creator of the wonderful universe that I observe as a scientist. It is the vagaries and self-will of human nature that causes all of the horror in the world. God cannot work in the unwilling heart and mind.

Today is a happy Valentine's Day, with red roses and lotsa love all around. However, when I ordered them it was at the end of January, before the Cross Cancer reprieve. Back then it seemed that this might be our last Valentine's Day together. We had absolutely no information about what conclusions the Cross Cancer doctors had reached about the Stage 4 cancer in my system.

So now I must get back to the cancer recovery discussion.

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